I Want To Become An Illegal Immigrant

This letter is circulating, and is purportedly real.  Whether or not it exists, it’s still makes a great point:

June 7, 2006 

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes 

309 Hart Senate Office Building 

Washington DC, 20510 

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance.  I have contacted the Immigration and Naturalization Service in an effort to determine the 
 for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you. 
 My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to 
illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill’s 
provisions is 
accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, what 
I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income 
for three of the last five years.

  I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. 
put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes  every 
year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine.  Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively?  This would yield an excellent result for me  and  my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005. 

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications. 
 If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become 
illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance. 

Your Loyal Constituent,
Pete McGlaughlin

H/T The Corner.


One Reply to “I Want To Become An Illegal Immigrant”

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