The Hearty Goldfish

A true story, heard from the mouth of a person that heard from the mouth of the story-teller:

A man and his wife move from one house in the LowCountry to another house in the LowCountry. Wishing to keep the accoutrements of their happy existence, they decided to move their  three (3) goldfish (carp?) to the yard of the new house. Accordingly, a new, small pond was excavated, shaped, and filled. The fish settled in, apparently happy with the new environment.

Several days after the move, the man ventured out into the lushness of his new yard and saw a snake slithering away into the far reaches of the yard. Not concerned, given his professional job as a biologist, and thus respectful of all God’s creatures, he went about his business. A thought occurred, and he looked in his new pond and noticed that one of the fish was missing. Moving in the direction of the disappearing snake, he found his precious carp(o) flapping in the high grass.

His pet was quickly and gently secured in his soft hands and tenderly placed in the small pond. Concerned that the fish might have been traumatized by the kidnap and assault, he prepared a sanctuary for the victim, separated from his fellow fishes by chicken wire, so that it might recover in solitude. And so the goldfish did.

Several days later, again in his yard, he checked the pond. Sacre’ Bleu! The fish was, again, missing. Moving towards the rear of the yard, he quickly found the snake, this time with the victim in his mouth, apparently very near to beginning the final descent into the belly of the beast. The man advanced on the snake, who, deciding that discretion is the better part of valor, spit out the fish and slithered into the dense foliage of the outer back yard (no doubt to seek shelter in a den filled with his evil compatriots). His escape was not effected, and the man severed the head from the body. No more snake!

To the man’s astonishment, his precious carp was flapping furiously and gasping for water. He, again, tenderly transported his beloved fish to the "safety" of the pond, where he continues to thrive as of this report.

Said the man: "That’s one hearty goldfish!"

To which I add: Amen!


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