The Battle of Cutlery Pod

For reasons more clearly outlined here and here, posting has been light. With luck, more hard work, and the hoped-for implementation of statistical curving, your scribe might yet make it through this period of extreme stress. Yet, as is surely the case for many other couples in similar circumstances, the daily flow of domestic life, like the local tides, continues unabated.

That is to say, the sharing of domestic responsibilities continues relentlessly. The need for extra study time, brief periods of self-pity, stress induced neurotic moments, none of these episodes are deemed worthy of a respite from my "responsibilities". No slack is forthcoming from the wife. No pity is to be found.

Recently, perhaps because my humanist side has been, to an extent, supplanted by an objective, quantifiable aspect, I determined that I was wasting time emptying the dishwasher due to the random placement of cutlery in the cutlery holder (the pod). Thinking that I had found a technique which would save valuable seconds in my hectic schedule, I happily shared the discovery with my beloved. Her expression, accompanied by a rolling of her baby-blues, indicated a complete lack of enthusiasm for my discovery.

And so it began. My duties include cleaning up after supper. I implemented the cutlery assignment plan, with great effect, I thought. However, since I am not in charge of breakfast cleanup, cutlery was randomly placed in the pod by the other half. Although the chaos in the pod was reduced, maximum effectiveness was not achieved. Gentle entreaties have so far not yielded the desire solution. Diplomacy has, yet again, failed. Heeding Clausewitz, who said: "war is nothing but a duel [or wrestling match, a better translation of the German Zweikampf] on a larger scale.", our wrestling match has ensued. So far, there is no clear winner. In fact, one might say that we are in the siege stage of this conflict.

This is the kind of battle that is measured in weeks, if not months. It requires planning, commitment, and the implementation of engineering skills to erect the weapons to batter the walls of wifely certitude. As other husbands, I suspect, will agree, this will be a mighty struggle.

Stay tuned.

PS – tactical insights from veterans of similar conflicts would be appreciated.


One Reply to “The Battle of Cutlery Pod”

  1. My only response to this incredibly complicated conflict: Just do the dishes and quit talking about it.

    You see, that’s the thing. One thing is getting the men in our lives to do these things, the other thing is getting them to do it without awhole lot of fuss.

    (baby browns eye-rolling is occurring here)

    I’m guessing that this isn’t the tactical insight that you were looking for.


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